Horrors of 30
People moan about turning 40, 50, 60…then they accept it. They get on with their lives. They start worrying about what’s on TV and if there will ever be a better pension scheme.
Me? I’m worrying about the fact I just turned 30. It happened recently and wow do I feel punished…
Because 30 is the worst of all the ages to turn, and here’s why:
For a woman – and I only know how it is for me and my friends, so this is only my opinion – it’s hard making the leap from twenties to thirties. The twenties are so alive. You’re out with friends, drinking in bars, and working and feeling like you’re at the top of the best-body-in-the-office table.
When you hit 30 you’re struck by the sudden horrendous realization that actually, there are girls younger than you with better bodies and more…time. Girls who, when they jump up and down, everything stays more or less in the same place and does not make a slapping sound.
turning 30 is tough: your hormones are more all over the place than they ever have been
Suddenly, being 30 feels like a total drag. Worse, it feels very sinister indeed. As though someone is lurking around the corner with a gun that can give you a dozen wrinkles with just one sordid pull of the trigger.
Another bizarre thing about turning 30 is that you share very little in common with…anyone, it feels like. For example, anyone over 32 feels very old to me, and anyone younger than me probably is dreading turning 30 and so doesn’t want to know me! OK, so that’s all a bit dramatic, but actually that’s another good reason why turning 30 is tough: your hormones are more all over the place than they ever have been. Faced with the onset of your maternal years vanishing right before your eyes, you’re left thinking Oh God, this is it, the clock is ticking faster than ever!
I speak only for myself, of course, single old me. Other people have relationships but I just seem to have my moaning old self right now. I think Grrrrrrr is the word. I need me some Sex and the City on DVD and a cold pizza and a bottle of wine. That ought to do it! (But I had better not…work tomorrow and when they ask me something important I don’t want to blurt out Ascis Gel Kayano …or something else equally abstract. See? I’ve turned all professional, quick as a flash!)
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