Breaking up with a partner: to go back or to stay away?
Staring at my timber window frames the other day – I was doing the very boring job of painting them – I started to wonder about my ex. We’d been split up for six months and the break-up had been horrible, but still, there I was pretending that wood was really interesting. That I didn’t still love and miss my ex. Did it work? Not in the slightest. And that’s maybe because I forgave too quickly at the beginning. I was still latching onto that hope and had never really gotten angry about him like many people said I should have done.
Still, if there’s one thing wooden window frames are good for it’s giving splinters. Sure enough, a big one through the thumb got my hand throbbing and me thinking about blood and pain instead.
…do you still love them like you did?
So, as it goes, how do you know if you should go back or stay away? Here are a few words to help you decide (although trust me, I am not an expert…):
1) Did you break up for a good reason? If you broke up because your ex betrayed you, broke your trust or did something just downright malicious – like, I don’t know, dump you by text on Christmas eve for example – then let’s be honest: if that happened to a friend of yours you would tell them never to go back.
2) Did you get closure? Sometimes it’s good to go back just to get this, so that when you are ready you can then move on with your life.
3) When you think about all the bad stuff, do you still love them like you did? If you do then maybe it’s time to swallow your pride and get in contact after all. The choice is yours so don’t let me persuade you! (Ps have a good hard think, because the pain of this all going wrong again is likely to be much worse than just a timber wood splinter!)
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